Our dearly departed

i hate goodbyes.

but i guess sometimes a sort of goodbye can be kind of good. a very strange kind of good--"sweet sorrow", you know--a dismantling kind of tragedy that opens people, slightly, and exposes unusual glimpses. the hidden cables that tether me to you become briefly, unsettlingly visible. it's terrifying--like a kiss is terrifying.

tonight was a good kind of goodbye. gathering, food, legos, music, laughter, and circulating conversations, mostly like a hundred other conversations--except occasionally the cables are exposed. and, as much as i try to flee those moments, and as much as i hate a cliché--they mean a lot. thank you.

still, i do hate goodbyes.