A tribute to Mickey

Alice is building skyscrapers at Infinity City. Bob is a science fiction monster who is toppling skyscrapers. Alice is twice as industrious as Bob. So here's what happens: Alice builds two skyscrapers. Then Bob destroys one. Alice builds two more. Then Bob destroys another. This goes on forever. At the end of forever, what is left standing?

(If you don't like the idea of "the end of forever", imagine that Alice and Bob are also getting faster and faster with each step. The first step takes a half hour, the second a quarter hour, the third an eighth of an hour... so reaching "the end of forever" just takes an hour.)

The surprising answer is that the order matters: you get different answers depending on how Bob decides which skyscraper to violently unmake next.

Say the skyscrapers that Alice builds are numbered 1, 2, 3, ...

Now say after Alice builds 1 and 2, Bob destroys building number 1. Then she builds 3 and 4, and Bob destroys number 3. Bob goes on destroying number 5, 7, 9, .... At the end of forever, all of the odd-numbered buildings are gone, and the even-numbered ones are still around. So Infinity City has infinitely many skyscrapers.

But if Bob instead destroys number 1, and then number 2, and then number 3, and so on, then at the end of forever there are no skyscrapers left at all, because every one of them is reduced to rubble.

Now here's the problem: what happens if Bob chooses the next skyscraper randomly? That is, at each step there are a finite number of buildings still standing, and Bob picks a building to destroy from a uniform distribution over all of them. When this process goes on forever, I claim (and this is cool) that the probability of any building staying upright goes to zero. Prove it.

Vast and spacious

i spent most of today in the american museum of natural history, up in new york city. this was the first of what i hope will be many museum pilgrimages (the other two of my big three are the met and moma). i was there for close to five hours, and i only explored a little corner of it--never made it anywhere close to the dinosaurs. my favorite part was the Hall of the Ocean, standing before dioramas of angler fish and tubeworms by deep sea vents, and giant kelp forests, and the sperm whale wrestling the giant squid, and i gasped like a little kid and my mouth hung open, and it all moved me powerfully (i'm quite serious here) to worship god in my heart--as the psalm says,

How many are your works, O LORD!
In wisdom you made them all;
the earth is full of your creatures.

There is the sea, vast and spacious,
teeming with creatures beyond number—€”
living things both large and small.

There the ships go to and fro,
and the leviathan, which you formed to frolic there...

May the glory of the LORD endure forever;
may the LORD rejoice in his works.

(similarly, it made me think a lot about conservation and global warming and stuff (i saw an inconvenient truth last week, which you probably oughta go see), and to pray for the preservation of the earth. that was all part of it.)

the Hall of Biodiversity was like that too, and the Hall of the Universe--galaxies colliding and comets swirling around the sun--so numinous, you know?

and then i came back and went to church, and i got all grumpy again. sigh.

It's a small world

turns out my best friend from high school (who i haven't seen in like three years) is at princeton theological seminary, a mere half hour's journey hence. how cool is that?

This week in Jeff

thursday was the best day ever.

i went to a couple good classes and all, but that has nothing to do with it.

then there was the colloquium (every thursday a visiting scholar gives a talk to the department, and then we all hang around for wine and pretty decent food). During the Q&A I worked up the nerve to raise an objection to the speaker's argument--and lo and behold, it was not a stupid thing to say! that was a small part of it.

then, during the after-colloquium schmoozing, richard (one of the other first-years) paid me what is among the best compliments i have ever received: he said, "you are articulate and wise." i mean, wow. articulate and wise. that was also a part of it.

later on, instead of working on my personal statement (yeah, those oughta be all gone, but on the department's behest i'm applying for an outside fellowship), i played scrabble with jenn and richard. and, lo and behold, i made the best play i have ever made. seriously. "unpolled" (unless it was "unpooled"--there was a blank)--using all seven of my tiles, and covering two triple word scores, for a total of (get this) 149 points. with one word! it was truly epic. that was a large part of it.

then, when i got home, i had, count 'em, six packages, and one of them was my bicycle, and one of them was the internet (which should be hooked up tomorrow). i also got a postcard, and a letter from my mommy. that was definitely part of it.

also, i did finish up a fairly respectable draft that night. and i gtalked for a while with one of my favorite people. so all in all, it was the best day ever. the end.

**

the bike, by the way, got me to another church today. (since sunday is my dedicated do-stuff-that-isn't-philosophy-(like-blogging) day, you'll likely be hearing a disproportionate amount about the churches i go to.) this is the church that the wassermans went to, and where dean goes (though i didn't see him there). it was kind of a revelatory experience for me.

first a little backstory. the last four years i've been going to a reformed (calvinist) church, and i've gotten used to frequently being the token non-calvinist. and a lot of my friends talk in angst-ridden tones of the man-centeredness and gracelessness and heedlessness of god's sovereignty out there in the wild and wooly heterodox arminian wasteland (if you're out of the theological know, that's most american churches). and i've generally been the guy who stands up for the frontiersman, and been sort of bemused at all the sweating calvinists.

well, i have to admit, i get it now. at this wonderful friendly bible fellowship church in piscataway (which reminded me a lot of my church back home) i listened to preaching on how "god just wants to be believed in" and how "what the gospel is all about" is the hard road of discipleship, god's insatiable requirements--and it all seemed awfully man-centered, and graceless, and maybe even heedless of god's sovereignty. and i've gotta tell you, it was frustrating.

really, the frustration didn't all stem from my internalized reformedness. part of it was the mostly separate gut response i have to a lot of aspects of american evangelicalism--the emphasis on a conversion event, the christianity-as-self-help theme, the cut-off-from-tradition worship that makes me think they're just making it all up--you know, that kind of thing.

it makes me recognize how fragmented my christian identity is, you know what i mean? i want a place with sensible religious epistemology, with a robust christ-centered and sacramental liturgy, with a loving, honest, humble, thriving community that studies the scriptures and serves the poor and the world, that cares about justice and peace and god's kingdom on earth, and knows its place in the ancient church universal. i mean seriously, why can't there be more of those around?

(by the way, though i come off pretty negative about today's church, i really do think i'll give it another try later. it wasn't a bad church, by any means.)

**

also of note: we had a party in our apartment last night. it was like, you know, a party. it was for richard's birthday, and lots of grad students from the philosophy and linguistics departments came, and there was mostly drinking and talking. we had both (a) a neighbor threaten to call the cops, and (b) somebody throw up in the living room. it was like a stereotype or something. really, though, it wasn't bad at all, quite fun actually, and people were pretty responsible and didn't trash the house or anything. (and we'll write a nice note to the neighbor today, and the vomit cleaned up nicely.) because we're so close to the department, it's a nice place to have people over. i have to say that, while i've nothing against talking and laughing with people, the department's idea of fun is a bit more alcohol-centric than i'd prefer--but we'll work on that. (in smaller groups, actually, people really do know how to have fun, as thursday's scrabble game attests.)

ok, that's about it for this week's installment.

That which is up

for those out of the loop--

i'm in new jersey now.

on the down side, the apartment was a wreck when we arrived.

on the up side, my housemates are fantastic. we were cleaning-painting-moving troopers, and we have filled this apartment and subdued it.

it's been a crazy busy week, between that and sundry. lots of administrivia--computers didn't acknowledge my existence till friday--and since i'm indecisive i've been going to all of the classes. i'm only just getting going with the reading. but it's been quite a good kind of busy. lots of the time has been filled with rambling nerdy conversations of the best kind, other bits of it with reading interesting books, and still others with the comforting trivialities of grocery stores and washing dishes and sorting books and such. since i went for a run with jenn yesterday, and went to church today, my life is starting to feel more real and balanced. main deficits right now are a bed, a bicycle, and the internet. other than that, my cup pretty well runneth over.

i was an episcopalian today, which was really nice. i love the rhythm of the liturgy, and the eucharist felt celebratory, you know?, a kind of reverent triumph. something seems right about a service rising to its climax at the communion sacrament. and we ended with one of my favorite hymns:

God of grace and God of glory,
on your people pour your pow'r;
crown your ancient church's story;
bring its bud to glorious flow'r.
Grant us wisdom, grant us courage
for the facing of this hour.

Lo! The hosts of evil 'round us
scorn the Christ, assail his ways!
From the fears that long have bound us
free our hearts to faith and praise.
Grant us wisdom, grant us courage
for the living of these days.

Cure your children's warring madness;
bend our pride to your control;
shame our wanton, selfish gladness,
rich in things and poor in soul.
Grant us wisdom, grant us courage,
lest we miss your kingdom's goal.

Save us from weak resignation
to the evils we deplore;
let the gift of your salvation
be our glory evermore.
Grant us wisdom, grant us courage,
serving you whom we adore.

i don't know if i can see making this church my home, but it was very good to be there today.